Why not Trans?

Why Not Trans?

Why Not Trans?

After a conversation with a very good friend who is also a cherished part of my leather family I felt compelled to write this rant/essay. I hope to bring to light some issues that the Trans community faces within our own Leather culture. I'm not a Trans person but I do believe that we need to stand up for one another and I do believe that all voices in our vast community need to be heard, seen and respected.

Once again I find myself very fortunate to be living in the NYC metropolitan area. I have lived in this area all my life. I have been fortunate to be surrounded by open ideas, which have broadened my scope of thought. There seems to be an open mindedness in music, politics and sexual ideology. Although the region is not perfect, there is certainly been progressive thought that, more often than not, shows hope for a better future.

Over the last few years I have become part of the Leather Community. I have learned that once again there is progressive thinking to be proud of. The interesting thing about being proud of your regions/scene's progressive thinking is that it makes you aware of such issues as acceptance and tolerance. That usually means that somewhere else there's a fearful and exclusionary mindset. I also must mention that in the NY area there has been a struggle and a fight. It's only been recent history that some clubs have accepted the Trans population. Although it's taken a while for this form of progressive thinking to flourish the fact of the matter is, it's happening. Trans people have a place to go and most important have a place to be heard.

As leather people quite often we search out the groups and organizations that will accept who we are. Whether it is a fisting club, diverse s/m club or M/s club, water sports, blood sports the list can go on forever. We need to be amongst our kind and to be accepted. Leather folk of a feather flock together and we each search out the niche that speaks the loudest to us. I'm also aware that we generally choose groups which reflect our own views, and so, willingly accept their guidelines. That still doesn't mean that there's not room for improvement. Afterall, the United States constitution has been amended to give women and blacks the right to vote. I'm sure bylaws in leather clubs could be amended to be more inclusive to the Trans community. There are fantastic events out there such as SPLF, Thunder, Folsom, and LPN. At these events the various groups acknowledge one another and attempt (usually with a very positive result) to accept one another.

So, now I come to the situation that's made me think hard about all of this in the first place…

A very close friend of mine has recently moved to the Midwest. This individual was eager to get his life in order and settle into a new area. Although family and career are falling into place quite nicely the area of inclusion with in the scene seems to be a bit fuzzy.

My friend is a FTM Trans person. His origin is in NYC. One of the great things about the NYC area clubs is that most are accepting of Trans people. As I mentioned earlier I'm aware that over the years there's been a struggle for acceptance but none the less acceptance is there. Most of the clubs out here are Trans friendly and open to the Trans struggle. This person who has moved away has become quite used to this acceptance and because of the NY scene's acceptance it's allowed this individual to thrive in the scene.

Now this person is in the Midwest and finds himself stuck in the middle. Remember the TV movie from the seventies "The Man without a Country"? Now this person lives the story of a Trans man without a group.

I find it interesting that there's not acceptance from the gay clubs or the pan clubs. There almost seems to be a no Trans policy. The clubs that do allow Trans people in seem to treat it has a mercy entry. Sure you can join us but you really can't thrive in our club, you can join but we don't know what to do with you so we will set up roadblocks.

I don't quite understand where this thought is coming from. Although at times we separate ourselves between gay and straight at least we know where to go. We are fortunate enough to be comfortable with our original gender assignment. But it seems Trans people find themselves shunned by both sides. Should transition equal prejudice? I certainly feel the answer is a resounding no. We as leather people need to realize that we are a minority! We are not wanted by the vanilla world. Leather people's lives are not portrayed on TV there will never be a leather Partridge Family. I can't vision the Partridge's future theme song going "c'mon get flogged now…." With that said, it really pisses me off that our own insecurity breeds prejudice. We need to accept Trans people. This segment of society is a viable and impressive part of our culture. We need to embrace what they have to offer. We need to be able to learn from their struggle and plight. We need to not be so closed minded that we are willing to lessen the strength of our enriched culture by excluding a segment of society. After all we have been excluded from the main stream. Community pressure forces zoning laws to change so dungeons will close, events are under big brothers watchful eye and overbearing religious and political icons say that we will burn in hell for what we do. Seems that a lot of people are willing pass judgement on us. So aren't we equally as bad as our adversaries when we pass judgement on Trans people? Are we going to say Trans people are different? This sounds like the pot calling the kettle………………………..

We need to embrace one another; this is not about old guard vs. the new wave. This is about not being prejudiced, this is about opening our minds and hearts and facing our uncertainty.

Back in the day an underground punk band that called themselves the Clitboys had a song called "Gay is ok and That's fine with me". I would like to add to that, Trans is ok and that's fine with me too.

It's time to grow up and value what we have to offer one another. Leaving our own kind out in the cold due to gender issues and our own insecurities will only set us back and make us look foolish…………..And that's something we can not under any circumstances afford to do.

After all that I said I now would like to clarify. I don't mean to say that all NY area clubs are perfect nor do I think all clubs outside of the my area are less than stellar. Truth be told there is good and bad in everything and everyone. For the clubs that are Trans friendly - you are on the right track! For the clubs that are not (especially the pansexual clubs) some growth is in order. The Trans community has had to overcome some amazing barriers to get the limited recognition they have. They should be commended for that. If these people have the courage to do what they need to do to become their true selves, then we should at least acknowledge their courage and accept them. Let us not judge one another by what was originally on their birth certificate, they should judged as individuals and what's in their heart. As should we all.