It's been a long time since I have posted an essay to my website. I must say it feels good to write like this and express myself.

Here's a little background information about this essay. This came to be after an amazing MAsT meeting. The topic of our meeting integrating ourselves or M/s into the mainstream. Much to my delight what I thought was going to be a run of the mill topic about how we curb our protocols at work and with our family actually tuned into a very spirited discussion about coming out as Master and or slave to the general public. We talked about hot button words, freedom, rights and ramifications. This was an amazing MAsT meeting. So much so that conversation spilled onto our yahoo group even after the meeting was over. Of course I'm always one to toss in my two cents.

So the following essay is what I wrote to the MAsT Metro yahoo group. I hope you enjoy and please free to comment.

Oh, how I love to stir the pot! I see that once again our group is alive and well with people offering up opinions about Master and slave wordage and assimilation into the mainstream.

The thing that I like the most about this is that our board is alive and kicking and equally as important, it’s passionate. With that said, I too would like to tackle this subject.

 Of course I do need to say that all the opinions expressed here are mine and only mine and by no means am I speaking for MAsT or our community at large.

 The terms Master and slave are our community’s hot button terms. It’s a special term for us and it has deep meaning. Make no bones about it, I cherish these terms. I’m in favor of that wordage and I hold it dear to my heart. With that said, I say lets get real. I believe it was stated that the 13^th amendment abolished slavery? This of course is a wonderful law and thank goodness that Abe Lincoln saw fit to stand up and do what was right. I'm in favor of the Emancipation Proclamation and I'm opposed to oppression, including the oppression that haunts our community.

 So, now lets examine the word slavery. Slavery by definition is to “hold someone against their will to work for you”. Another term would be “to be held captive”. Looking at that version of the word slavery, I guess I fall far short. After all, barb is free to break our contract at anytime. (How many slaves back in Abe’s day signed a contract of agreement with their Master. The answer is few and far between). Not only that, if barb decides to run away, I do not have the right to catch her and chop off her feet as punishment with no legal ramifications brought against me. This again proves that how we use the terms Master and slave is for our own perverted entertainment. We, under no circumstances are engaging in actual slavery.

 We use these words in our leather culture to satisfy our own thirst for the fringe and for our beautiful perversions. Again, I don't want to change that. I like and stand by our perversions.

Altering vernacular is nothing new. We didn't come up with this concept on our own. Example: In the 70’s? Everything was “bad”. “That’s one bad car!!” exclaimed the hippie freak with long hair to his Sly and The Family Stone pimped out friend. Well, if we took that term to heart then would anyone have purchased a Mustang or GTO? No. But “bad” became “good” and so there's a tiny chunk of vernacular history. Vernacular has always been and will always be twisted to satisfy ones thirst for the fringe element or define their culture or generation. It's one of many ways that we mark our place in history.

 The key here is how we explain what we do to others in the Vanilla community. What if we explain what we do without the hot button terms? Maybe we can be accepted and start a better understanding of who we are and what we do.

 So now you might be asking if I believe that we should proclaim that we are Masters and slaves on our job interviews, business meeting, vanilla social gatherings, the grocery store, football games and rock concerts? The answer is no. Nobody has the right to know exactly what I do and how I do it the same way that we have the right to not disclose our religion or ethnicity. Should we have the right to privacy? Absolutely! But we also deserve human rights and the right to execute a fulfilling freedom without harm to others. I do believe that it is our responsibility to be teachers and ambassadors for our community. Again, this is not about saying everything and spilling the leather beans. This isn’t about busting down barriers with no care for the people on either side of the wall. This is about specific points of entry and opportunity to educate when possible and of course, to educate safely. It's imperative to remember that the Master slave battle is different then the BDSM battle. Yes, they overlap but BDSM is a “bedroom activity” M/s is about our 100% daily life. The BDSM battle is a good fight but it's a different platform and a different essay.

Here's an example of a way to teach without stopping the space time continuum. By the way, this is only one example. I'm sure that there are many other ways to teach the vanilla depending on the situation you are in. Lets say I’m at work in the office and two people are talking about relationship problems. The two people can’t seem to come up with an answer to their particular problem so they decide to ask me my thoughts. They probably are asking my thoughts because I have been married for over ten years and I’m with the same person for over 26 years. I guess they figure I must be doing something right. So these people ask me a question. At this point I can excuse myself and leave the room, make up a lie or simply say that in my household this type of problem doesn’t apply or if it did apply it would be in a different context. This very well may spark the “huh?” or “why?” question. Then I can easily explain the surface of my relationship and why a problem may not or should not present itself in the same way it’s happening to them. There is no need to explain rituals, protocols, leather, or the individual things that turn me on. (Yes, you should be judicious with who you have your initial conversation) There's no need to talk about our community. The example should be about my household, remember baby steps. There's no need to mention things that make what we do hot or unique to even our own leather brothers and sisters. But a simple explanation of surface roles, meaning ,spirit and honor can start the education process. In our lifetime I think it’s up to us to open the door a little bit. Why do we always assume that we need to drop the 100 pound brick of knowledge on peoples heads? Speaking with manners and decorum about what we do can breed tolerance. Speaking in “100 pound brick terms” will breed prejudice and ramifications without the possibility of self defense from any lawyer or union. How we present ourselves will help determine our ability to be accepted. This method is not unique to humans. This goes for anything.

I realize that this method of expression may not be feasible for everyone. I realize that some of us may have security clearances and work the public sector. I can certainly realize why in these situations one may not be able to step into to the “office limelight”. As for the rest of us, I do believe that we can educate the general populous little by little, over time.

 When we go to events and we see respected speakers Like Master Steve or slave alia do they come busting through the door in song “I’m a Master  / slave and I’m ok and I think it’s great for the straight and the gay?” ( You should sing that to the tune of I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok) No. We have deep philosophical conversations about intent, heart and spirit, care, love, ethics and support. We do a great job of painting pretty pictures for ourselves and justifying our actions to one another (rightfully so) maybe its high time we should begin to look for those particular points of entry and start to paint ourselves in a positive manner to the world at large.

One could say that it's self loathing behavior to assume that we are so terrible that w can't find away to express ourselves in a positive manner to the vanilla community. That's a sad thought.

 It’s all about how we sell ourselves. Please allow me to use a humorous example. Lets go back to roughly 1973 and the invention of the Pooper Scooper. Yes, that's right I'm crazy enough to site the old old Pooper Scooper. Let’s say I invent the Pooper Scooper. My initial draft of how I sell the product reads like this:

"Are you tired of bending down and smelling your pets shit?

Are you tired of picking up shit with your hands and the only thing protecting you from your pets filth is a thin piece of plastic?

 Are you tired of becoming an animal like your pet?

 Use the Pooper Scooper and you will have no more dry heaves or gagging sensations.

BUY NOW AND PUKE NO MORE!"

 My distributor says, "wow, you have a great product but you can’t sell it like this." So I decide to describe my invention in a new manner. It now reads:

"No more bending down and getting a sore back cleaning up after your beloved pets.

The Pooper Scooper is safe, affordable, washable and it can keep our community clean. The Pooper Scooper a simple tool for a clean community.

Bags sold separately."

Now I achieved the buy-in from my distributor and I'm able to market the product in a manner that becomes acceptable.

Notice, I never re-tooled to the scooper. All I did was educate and define it better. Nothing changed in my product. Or in my case nothing changed in my lifestyle. I didn't stop how and what I was doing in my household and community. All I did was show the positives and create another open window for human rights.

We should not change who we are, we should not change what we do but we should make it a point to educate and put ourselves in a positive light. Small points of entry and education can over time lead to a larger and greater version of human rights.

 Shouldn't we drop some seeds so the next generation can water them and make them flourish?

7/9/2007